I adapted and titled this to describe our situation with Kristen several years ago and find it applies with each new curve she or the physicians throw our way. The original was shorter and referred to a little boy. The author was listed as unknown or anonymous and was not copyrighted.

Enjoy.

Joanne Kocourek : ) Kristen (CCHS, CHD), Joshua (NDA), Annalies (ADHD)

 

STEPS TOWARD TOMORROW

THE BEGINNING:
You gave us this baby- You gave us our daughter
How could anyone doubt you- look what you've done!
Yet wait, there's the doctor, he doesn't look right-
He's talking and rambling, saying things like "We'll fight".
He's telling me things that I can't understand
And all I want to do is get on with my plan!
 
DENIAL:
She has ten little fingers and ten tiny toes,
Eyes like her mothers, and her fathers' nose.
I don't want to hear this- I refuse to believe!
Get out of my life I'm not going to grieve!
I can not believe it - you've got to be wrong!
I will not believe it- I've got to be strong!
 
ANGER:
I thanked you Dear Lord , for my daughter yesterday-
Yet today if you asked me- I wouldn't know what to say.
Why put her through it? Why should we fight?
It hurts ME, it scares ME and it's HER little life.
Should we try to prolong it? To try one more way?
Should we try to extend it? To let her suffer one more day?
How could YOU do this? I trusted YOU!
Why did YOU do this? I needed YOU!
 
BARGAINING:
I've decided to try - to take one more day
To ask your forgiveness- to act another way.
Do you want me to pray? To go to church every day?
Or can I make it up in some other way?
I'll donate my time- I'll donate my money-
I'll even laugh and try to be funny!
Dear God whatever you want I will do-
Just please let my daughter live a life- JUST FOR YOU.
 
DEPRESSION:
There comes a time when you finally give up-
When your head hurts so bad you can hardly sit up.
Each time they "help" her, each time she must "go"-
I sit and I wonder if it isn't time to do so.
Each day I get more attached, each minute I love her more
Today's the day I feel like I should walk out that door.
How can I keep on going- knowing what tomorrow might bring
This could be her last summer, fall, winter, or spring.
Yet even as I sit here, with all this self pity -
My little daughter sits and plays with her kitty.
 
ACCEPTANCE:
The days and the years seem to fly by,
It's hard to remember all the times that I've cried.
We've all learned to live it- we've all learned to cope
It's happened- it's over- so now let's not mope.
Our child is here- she's gone through it all-
And she's living and talking and out playing ball!
We might have lost her- it seemed such a curse!
We might not have known her- it could have been worse!
But thank God she make it- Thank God she's here!
We've held her and loved her, we've laughed and we've cried
Just Thank God she made it, Thank God they tried!
 
HOPE:
There are no words to describe how I'm feeling today
I'm watching my daughter as she's out to play.
I remember the times we thought she'd never come home-
and today I must fight just to use that phone!
We thought we would hurt her, that she'd break with our squeezes-
But now it just seems she does as she pleases!
The bad times are buried, the good times are here
forget the depression, the anger, the fear
and only remember the BEST times we're near!
 
THANKS:
It's hard to believe all we've gone through with her.
We've denied, we've resented, we've hated and cried
And now at this point- our faiths been revived!
It's hard to remember-it's all gone so fast-
We've learned to accept it- not live in the past!
Yet with all of life's' trials- we've discovered one thing-
YOU gave us this baby, and the pain and the sorrow-
But Thank You, Dear God, for YOU gave us Tomorrow.